Finally out of Ithaca, to my parents' delight, and I find myself thinking about my time at Cornell, what I've learned, what I'm taking with me, and what I'm leaving behind. The latter part is what hurts most, as you can imagine.
It's not easy to leave one's comfort zone. I'm particularly bad at it, I think, since I tend to attach myself firmly to people and environments that suit me. In particular, I know I'm going to be in a bad state for at least the first few weeks after heading out of upstate NY because of the really close friends I've made who are either also moving out or staying in upstate NY. I didn't realize it at the time, but this situation has the same bitterness of leaving my twin brother when we both went off to different universities.
I know I've made my own career choice to pursue medicine, and that I could have chosen a less grueling path within science, so I have no room to complain. It's just that I've gotten used to this lifestyle and going back to school to have even less time to enjoy myself than I had at Cornell is somewhat of a daunting thought. What I have to keep telling myself is that it's all for my greater success. Becoming a doctor is something I've wanted for many, many years, and nothing is going to stop me from achieving my goal. I do, however, wish that my closest friends were with me along the way, in physical proximity that is. It would make it that much easier, I think, to deal with the associated traumas and hardships of medical school. My hope is that I'll be able to find a select number of people at my new school who I can have similar chemistry with, and that will allow me to be myself around them without a worry or care - laughing at my stupidities would be a good start. But I know it's never the same, even if I find people with similar personalities. I could never replace Corey, Tim, Matt, or Don, among others, but if I could find a group of people that even comes close to these guys, it'd be a true blessing.
I'll miss my Cornell buddies so much, it's ridiculous. But I know we'll keep in touch, no doubt. The internet is a wonderful communication tool. I'll end this post with a quote that keeps me going, even in my deepest of sad ruts:
“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Good luck.
ReplyDeletePulling for you, as always.
--SDM
Dude, you and Matt are so lucky you got out of here before I totally woman'd out like cried for two days straight and bitched like part of me had been physically ripped out (felt like it). It sucks, but I think you'll be surprised how life gives you exactly what you need. Just when I was depressed and thinking I had made a huge mistake by staying here, today, Diwas's girlfriend happened to get on the 31, and she and I ended up getting bubble tea together and planning on movie nights to brave the winter. I think you and I are going to be all right. :)
ReplyDelete<3C
I think it's rough when paths diverge ... As much as the physical separation hurt initially, I was surprised at how much I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be, probably because I knew I'd be just fine as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I'm pulling for all of us! :)