The Fear of Death

I just finished watching another anime series, Gurren Lagann, which was pretty fantastic. However, I was not satisfied with the ending. Of course the human race lives on and survives against the onslaught brought on by alien forces, but the issue of death is inappropriately addressed, in my opinion. In the last few episodes of the final battle scenes, characters from the earliest parts of the show sacrifice themselves so that the others, including the main character and hope for the human race, can continue to fight the good fight and save the people of Earth. However, it seems that the characters who have watched this happen are struck for a moment and come to this understanding, almost instantly, that the sacrifices made were not in vain, but were to give them all a chance for a better future. That's incredibly admirable, but I cannot completely come to terms with those sentiments, especially if you leave your wife and children behind. In my selfish mind, I would play it safe, but in the heat of the moment, who knows. This has left me somewhat emotionally disturbed over the past few days, and this writing is an attempt to reconcile some of my thoughts. Regardless, I almost hope that I can die in a blaze of glory fighting for my ideals and beliefs to better the future of my world and loved ones. But dying peacefully knowing I've contributed to the well-being of my fellow man works, too. :)

Additionally, I've been thinking that I don't handle death very well at all. Since I was young, my mother would tell her children not to fear death, since it's only part of the life cycle. "The more we fear it, the harder it will be to face," she said. Also, considering my stance on souls and reincarnation, I shouldn't be fretful, but the thought of dying, or someone close to me dying, leaves me petrified. Perhaps, subconsciously, that has affected my decision and drive for going into medicine - to combat that which I fear most. I can be a soldier against the forces of dying, but lately I've come to realize that thinking that way is almost foolish, since, as I mentioned, it is part of our life cycle. And in reality, what doctors do many a time can be viewed as preventing death for a little longer, and not so much saving a life. It's all very difficult for me to completely grasp, but I think true understanding will click once I lose my first patient. As morbid as that sounds, I think that's when it will finally hit me. So I just hope I'll be emotionally, mentally, and physically ready for when that moment comes. And after that, true healing and understanding can happen.